Why I'm here.

So, as many of you know, I'm actually here to study stuff and not just here to muck about Europe for nine months. What you may not know is what I'm actually studying and why it makes me the anomaly of all of New College.

Here at Oxford, there is no such thing as a degree in philosophy. All the philosophy is taught as a part of a group of degrees. There are several ways one can do this, but the most popular way seems to be PPE. It's a common phrase around here and it stands for Philosophy, Politics and Economics. The focus on the degree seems to be on the 'E' part of it, but for the time being I've grouped myself with the PPE students in order to go to my library orientations, group meetings, etc. Other degrees that include this are Philosophy and Physics, Philosophy and Mathematics, and Philosophy and Psychology.

So, to New College it's strange enough that I'm doing what I call 'straight philosophy' without doing anything else. But when I tell my classmates, either ND or New College, what I'm studying, I'm met with universal derision. "Philosophy? Always hated that subject. Never saw the point."

To make matters even worse, I love the logic aspect of philosophy, so much so that I specified on my application to study here that I would study basically nothing but aspects of logic while I was here. If I thought just being a philosopher was unpopular, I was totally unprepared for the hatred people here have for logic. "Oh, yeah, I hated those classes, that's why I dropped the P in PPE." "You really want to study that? It's so awful."

Yes, I really do want to study it, and I quite enjoy it, thank you very much. I intend on taking full advantage of Dr. Halbach's resources and branching out as far as I can in this substudy.

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As a sidenote to all of this, New College/Oxford's IT departments leave much to be desired. I have no wireless internet in my room, I had to retrieve all of my passwords, and our e-mail has not yet been moved from the old host to the new host (creating a slew of problems when we tried to sign on to Nexus and found out we were still on Herald). Most of the ND people are now known by sight to the IT office, and I have learned how to decipher some pretty strange handwriting to discover my pre-set passwords for some of these things.

Also, I need to remember to bring my camera to more things, because it is absolutely beautiful outside right now (slanted morning sunlight) and I haven't taken pictures of the college or the city as a whole yet.

I'm off to the New College fresher's fair in a few minutes, and I probably have another busy day ahead of me. Still don't have school supplies like notebooks, folders, pens, or pencils... I've had my head on completely backwards for about a week now. At least at this point I'm relatively settled in and have a fair grasp of the major streets of Oxford. Pip pip for now (or however these people say it.)

- Jen -

Hurm.

Basically a straight Rorschach quote. I've had "Sound of Silence" (Simon and Garfunkel, from the film) playing in my head because of the line "in the halo of a streetlamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp." It's not always cold and damp here but it likes to rain at least once a day. Today has been remarkably clear and almost warm (I was pushing up the sleeves of my sweater at one point).

I've eaten today! Small victories, people. I finally have an adapter now, and consistent internet. I might even have my New College email account set up to reliably work. Probably not linking it to my Thunderbird accounts but it's still a matter of pride that I have a New College email address. They're very exclusive after all, and I plan on taking advantage of that to spam everyone I know. ;)

I got my information about my tutorials just now in my e-mail. I'm taking one on Logic and Language and another on Ethics. I'm planning on stopping in on more lectures than that but I have a few days to sort things out before things begin in earnest. I already have a reading list/questions topic for my one class. Doesn't seem too hard really. I was told we'd be writing 8-10 page papers but apparently they only need 4-5 from me, and I'm only taking two tutorials as of right now.

Right now I'm trying to read lecture offerings, figure out what's going on with clubbing tonight and the bop (college dance) on Saturday, and email my profs, so something has to give and that's this blog entry. I'm just going to end with this thought: Why is every g-d bagel in the entire UK covered with sesame seeds?

- Jen -

I'm here... ish.

Pretty much been a miserable few days. Freshers Week here is just as exhausting as Frosh-O was at home. I've been ill ever since we arrived so it's been even harder for me (manufacturing fake cheer when it feels like there are knives in your abdomen is not the easiest thing I have ever done). I finally have a mobile number and internet, but unfortunately it is becoming hard to keep track of my phone balance and I have about another hour until my computer dies (I don't yet have an adapter that will allow me to plug it into the wall).

It's around 6:10 PM here and I've had one meal today (lunch was skipped over since I had a library orientation that wasn't even meant for me that left me 20 minutes between presentations and the dining hall was not open). Next meal prospect is around 7:30 and is mandated as formal dress, which means that now I have to look presentable at 6:45 for drinks with my tutor. Crap. Don't have much time or much energy at this point.

Hope everyone at home is doing well, or at least better than me, and that your diet consists of more than Sprite, cherry-flavored Lucozade (look it up and try it sometime, it's delicious) [ETA: the original flavor is some kind of orange citrus and is not my favorite! make sure you get the cherry!], and Dioralyte.

- Jen -

Last post before I leave.

In case my plane mysteriously disappears over the Atlantic... don't stop looking for me, although I probably will have been the first person throttled by the Smoke Monster.

- Jen -

This is actually happening, isn't it?

There's a poll on Facebook today regarding the new live-action film adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, asking: What is inside of you? Hope? Fear? Adventure?

To be completely honest, I have absolutely no idea.

I'm incredibly hopeful for this whole process I'm about to go through. I seem to be doing all right so far with keeping my head. I'm nearly packed (except for my carry-on) and my papers are all well-organized. I'm looking forward to flying again, seeing cities from the sky, watching clouds dissipate over the wings of the plane. I'm looking forward to seeing where I'll live, to running errands when I get there, to being completely exhausted and loving every minute of it.

I'm also completely terrified. At least I'm admitting to myself that I feel like that. It helps more if you, the reader, imagines Jon Osterman's final moments in Watchmen. Trapped in a study chamber, a lab rat as it were, with forces much more powerful than he is. He's completely, 100% terrified. However, his narration over the scene, right before his disintegration, says "I feel fear for the last time." I'm hoping to have such a destructive/rebuilding experience once I leave, but in order to change you have to feel fear for what you're about to lose.

There's also this part of me that's looking forward to complete newness. The part that's inexplicably looking forward to getting lost in strange cities, eating entrees whose names I can't even pronounce, embarrassing myself without fear of repercussion. There is an adventurous side of myself, one that I've never really let shine before.

So what the hell. I really don't have any choice at this point but to go for it, but I do have a choice in how much I really commit to this. I'm thinking 150% might suffice.

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In other news, I haven't seen my family much lately. There is always a Crisis Du Jour where my dad works, which can't really be helped. My brother is busy with marching band practice and senior-year-of-high-school drama, and when he's not on Facebook or out with his friends or at a music lesson or at young men's Bible study or at Scouts, he's doing homework or sleeping. Boy just doesn't quit.

My poor mother has been back and forth to the East Side (for reference, we live in the northwest corner of Columbus) every workday for the past three weeks taking care of my ailing grandparents. Every day it's something. My grandmother's doctor's appointment to check for platelet levels. My grandfather's doctor's appointment to help discover the state of his memory and if it can even be improved at all at this point. My grandmother's hospital observation. My grandmother's blood transfusion. And since they can't drive, it falls upon my mom to do everything. Today it's a brief doctor's appointment before they start going into finances, closing bank accounts and paid-off credit cards.

It's really not fair on my mom that she has to run two households at once, cook two sets of meals every day, put those miles on her car, but there is no one else we can turn to that can do these things for us. My mom can't just say 'no, I can't take my mother into the hospital.' Things just don't work like that. The worst part is, there's only one doctor's appointment so far next week... why couldn't 'next week' have been this week? I kind of needed her home for guidance and for a car so I could run last-minute errands...

Speaking of last-minute, I have about eleventythousand things I need to do before I can consider myself prepared for departure, so I guess that means putting in yet another movie (I've watched probably 20 movies in the last week and a half) and organizing my backpack. I'm going to what might be my last high school football game tonight, so there will probably be no update later. See you on the other side.

- Jen -