Assorted thoughts before November starts.

I know some of the things I want for Christmas!

• Firefly DVD
• Serenity DVD
• This shirt
• This poster

You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that every girl has a little River Tam in her. Every girl, growing up, is slightly confused, a confused mind in a body that doesn't know what it's capable of. And sometimes we do things that scare ourselves, and sometimes we need a lot of help from friends and family. But really, all we want is to feel like we really belong somewhere, to find the people we belong with. (And to marry Simon Tam. I mean, hot damn. "I'll take care of you. I'll knit!")

I've got my novel almost plotted. I have an essay due tomorrow but I have until dinner to finish it. There's a pub crawl tonight for international students, and if I get my essay done in time I can go without feeling guilty.

The weather has been brilliant here. It's been sixty degrees fahrenheit pretty much every day, with a breeze and some sun. Not much rain. It's really been quite nice, to walk to my errands and go out and get lunch.

Have a good day, everyone :)

- Jen -

Work hard, play hard.

That's basically the slogan of the University of Oxford as a whole. Your tutorials, lectures, and problem sets will probably kill you, so you need to have killer fun to make up for it.

Tonight I had a family dinner at the Big Bang. I realize that sentence needs a lot of explaining... there are things called 'families' here at New College. You have two parents; one of them is your JCR (junior common room, like the executive body) parent, and one is your subject parent. I have a subject mom, but I only met her in passing, so my dinner tonight was with James, my JCR dad (who is head of the LGBTQA association). And the Big Bang is a place which specializes in bangers and mash... again, bangers is a British term for sausages, and mash is just short for mashed potatoes.

And let me tell you, the food was divine. Our table of nine ordered the Whole Hog, which was a sampler of each of their 18 varieties of sausage, one generous scoop of six varieties of mash, and enough peas and cabbage to go around. I don't know exactly what varieties of sausage I got, but they were delicious, as were my (I think they were?) garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes.

It was also BYOB tonight since we were dining in the basement, which led to some interesting drinking games. The first one I learned about was pennies. Everyone has a one-pence coin that they are allowed to slip into someone else's already-sipped-from drink while the other person is holding it. The person who then has the penny in their drink has to finish their drink to 'save the queen' and retrieve the penny, at which point the game starts all over. Oh, and apparently, if someone double-pennies someone else, that original someone has to finish their drink out of a shoe. (Tonight my right heel was one of the unfortunate shoes!) That way, everyone gets drunk rather fast.

Another drinking game is sconces. It's like 'never have I ever,' except it begins with someone saying "I sconce anyone who has/has never X" and whoever fits that category has to stand up and take a sip from their drink. It gets rather embarrassing rather fast, and again, if you've done enough things everyone gets drunk really fast. Some other games we were exposed to were Shark Attack/Nuclear Bomb (get on top of your chairs, get under the table), X Masters (somewhat like Nose Goes, except you announce it and the last person to touch their whatever to whatever, like Girl Masters you have to touch a girl, loses), and Good Pants Bad Pants (not gonna go there). Thank God I didn't drink tonight.

Also, thankfully I finished my essay due Wednesday on Sunday, so for the rest of this week I only really have to worry about my Logic and Language tutorial. Tomorrow I'm making a trip to Sainsbury's, Blackwell, and possibly the University of Oxford Shop before returning my books to the New College library and making a trip to the Philosophy Library on Merton Street. Busy busy busy... like I was explaining to someone tonight, there's always something to do here. Much different from home.

- Jen -

Pubbing and birthdays.

Last night I kind of took the night off from doing anything productive in favor of sitting in pubs and just... hanging out. There were discussions about... hm, let's see... systems of ethics (specifically moral relativism), the word 'khaki' and how it is to be pronounced here, twelve-year-old boys, physics tutorials, and awkward animals. Pretty much a great night.

I also indirectly had my first experience with Hassan's! For anyone who's not actually here, Hassan's is basically like a van that makes food (something like you'd see at a state fair, only a little bit higher class). They make very good chips ('fries') and coat them with all kinds of stuff, like chilli (yes, that's how they spell chili) and cheese, hummus and falafel... anything really. They also make good gyros, burgers, and onion rings (which I can personally attest to). I think sometimes I might have to take a night off from the dining hall in order to really appreciate some of that food.

Among my many revelations last night was that though I have a personal moral system, it is not coherent by any means... I don't even want to go through that brain-bender of a conversation last night again (though it was excellent while it happened). I also got called an aberration because I don't think babies are cute and I have no maternal instinct. Who needs enemies when you have friends like these? haha.

Usually I've been hanging out with the physics kids here... they live right next door (well, the girls do anyways), they're funny, they throw awesome parties, and everyone gets along. Sometimes, though, it's odd just sitting there in the pub while the conversation about tutorials and professors kind of flies over my head. Yes, I got your Taylor expansion joke, though I don't know what it is. Stuff like that.

Last but not least, it's Dakota's birthday today and we need to figure out something special to do. We also as a group need to figure out how to watch the ND vs. USC game today (interestingly, Firefox says USC is a typo but not ND, so we must be better). The physics girls are also throwing a house party, and I also personally have about seven books to read on utilitarianism by Tuesday night (and that's not even my entire reading list for this week). So, I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in... I think this is gonna be all for today.

- Jen -

Spending too much time on forums!

I've been spending way too much time on forums lately (specifically, the forums for NaNoWriMo and TVTropes). While fun and enlightening, it's now reached the point where I need to do actual work, so Something's Gotta Give.

For those of you who don't know, TVTropes is a wiki for obvious cliches in any type of media, though they specialize, strangely, in anime/manga examples for their tropes. It makes for an entertaining read, and also a culture immersion for someone like me who actually has to learn how to avoid or adapt these cliches for their own work.

And for anyone who doesn't know what NaNoWriMo is, it stands for National Novel Writing Month, which takes place every November. A good explanation of what I'll be doing is here, but instead of the basic requirement, I believe that the novel I'm plotting will require 100,000 (that's one hundred thousand, folks) words at least. My novel synopsis and author info can be found here, if you'd like to read it.

And before anyone says "OH THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE," I would like you to revisit my author profile and note that I have winning stamps from the last two years, and to view my signature on forum posts which states that 2007's novel was 61k words and that last year's novel was 88k words. The last two winning years have been won while I was a) in college (with sometimes ridiculous amounts of coursework), b) preparing to go abroad (which required additional writing samples, applications, and interviews), and c) never lowering my academic expectations for myself (ie. I still earned top marks while completing this side project).

So far this academic year, I've seen myself have much more free time than I normally do, though this may be a side effect of They Are Just Freshers (can you tell I've been on TVTropes much too much?). In the past, I've often found that squeezing this one extra thing into my schedule has made a positive difference in the way that I schedule my life, in that I think more creatively when I am not actually writing creatively (which helps when writing papers), I schedule my time more effectively, and I just generally am a happier person when I have more things to do than less.

I am still working on regular coursework (in fact, I have my first lecture and my first tutorial both tomorrow, so we'll see what happens). I've just made word requirement on both of my page-long essays for this week, one of which is due tomorrow at noon, so the rest of the night will probably be spent... on the Internet, as per usual, while patching up the rest. I'm also working on plotting my novel and adding characters (which is necessary; I have a terrible habit of working with a character base of about 4 people during NaNo, which needs to stop).

So, wish me luck tomorrow and I think I can handle the rest. Good luck to all of my friends back home who are dealing with midterms week.

- Jen -

Why I'm here.

So, as many of you know, I'm actually here to study stuff and not just here to muck about Europe for nine months. What you may not know is what I'm actually studying and why it makes me the anomaly of all of New College.

Here at Oxford, there is no such thing as a degree in philosophy. All the philosophy is taught as a part of a group of degrees. There are several ways one can do this, but the most popular way seems to be PPE. It's a common phrase around here and it stands for Philosophy, Politics and Economics. The focus on the degree seems to be on the 'E' part of it, but for the time being I've grouped myself with the PPE students in order to go to my library orientations, group meetings, etc. Other degrees that include this are Philosophy and Physics, Philosophy and Mathematics, and Philosophy and Psychology.

So, to New College it's strange enough that I'm doing what I call 'straight philosophy' without doing anything else. But when I tell my classmates, either ND or New College, what I'm studying, I'm met with universal derision. "Philosophy? Always hated that subject. Never saw the point."

To make matters even worse, I love the logic aspect of philosophy, so much so that I specified on my application to study here that I would study basically nothing but aspects of logic while I was here. If I thought just being a philosopher was unpopular, I was totally unprepared for the hatred people here have for logic. "Oh, yeah, I hated those classes, that's why I dropped the P in PPE." "You really want to study that? It's so awful."

Yes, I really do want to study it, and I quite enjoy it, thank you very much. I intend on taking full advantage of Dr. Halbach's resources and branching out as far as I can in this substudy.

---

As a sidenote to all of this, New College/Oxford's IT departments leave much to be desired. I have no wireless internet in my room, I had to retrieve all of my passwords, and our e-mail has not yet been moved from the old host to the new host (creating a slew of problems when we tried to sign on to Nexus and found out we were still on Herald). Most of the ND people are now known by sight to the IT office, and I have learned how to decipher some pretty strange handwriting to discover my pre-set passwords for some of these things.

Also, I need to remember to bring my camera to more things, because it is absolutely beautiful outside right now (slanted morning sunlight) and I haven't taken pictures of the college or the city as a whole yet.

I'm off to the New College fresher's fair in a few minutes, and I probably have another busy day ahead of me. Still don't have school supplies like notebooks, folders, pens, or pencils... I've had my head on completely backwards for about a week now. At least at this point I'm relatively settled in and have a fair grasp of the major streets of Oxford. Pip pip for now (or however these people say it.)

- Jen -

Hurm.

Basically a straight Rorschach quote. I've had "Sound of Silence" (Simon and Garfunkel, from the film) playing in my head because of the line "in the halo of a streetlamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp." It's not always cold and damp here but it likes to rain at least once a day. Today has been remarkably clear and almost warm (I was pushing up the sleeves of my sweater at one point).

I've eaten today! Small victories, people. I finally have an adapter now, and consistent internet. I might even have my New College email account set up to reliably work. Probably not linking it to my Thunderbird accounts but it's still a matter of pride that I have a New College email address. They're very exclusive after all, and I plan on taking advantage of that to spam everyone I know. ;)

I got my information about my tutorials just now in my e-mail. I'm taking one on Logic and Language and another on Ethics. I'm planning on stopping in on more lectures than that but I have a few days to sort things out before things begin in earnest. I already have a reading list/questions topic for my one class. Doesn't seem too hard really. I was told we'd be writing 8-10 page papers but apparently they only need 4-5 from me, and I'm only taking two tutorials as of right now.

Right now I'm trying to read lecture offerings, figure out what's going on with clubbing tonight and the bop (college dance) on Saturday, and email my profs, so something has to give and that's this blog entry. I'm just going to end with this thought: Why is every g-d bagel in the entire UK covered with sesame seeds?

- Jen -

I'm here... ish.

Pretty much been a miserable few days. Freshers Week here is just as exhausting as Frosh-O was at home. I've been ill ever since we arrived so it's been even harder for me (manufacturing fake cheer when it feels like there are knives in your abdomen is not the easiest thing I have ever done). I finally have a mobile number and internet, but unfortunately it is becoming hard to keep track of my phone balance and I have about another hour until my computer dies (I don't yet have an adapter that will allow me to plug it into the wall).

It's around 6:10 PM here and I've had one meal today (lunch was skipped over since I had a library orientation that wasn't even meant for me that left me 20 minutes between presentations and the dining hall was not open). Next meal prospect is around 7:30 and is mandated as formal dress, which means that now I have to look presentable at 6:45 for drinks with my tutor. Crap. Don't have much time or much energy at this point.

Hope everyone at home is doing well, or at least better than me, and that your diet consists of more than Sprite, cherry-flavored Lucozade (look it up and try it sometime, it's delicious) [ETA: the original flavor is some kind of orange citrus and is not my favorite! make sure you get the cherry!], and Dioralyte.

- Jen -

Last post before I leave.

In case my plane mysteriously disappears over the Atlantic... don't stop looking for me, although I probably will have been the first person throttled by the Smoke Monster.

- Jen -

This is actually happening, isn't it?

There's a poll on Facebook today regarding the new live-action film adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, asking: What is inside of you? Hope? Fear? Adventure?

To be completely honest, I have absolutely no idea.

I'm incredibly hopeful for this whole process I'm about to go through. I seem to be doing all right so far with keeping my head. I'm nearly packed (except for my carry-on) and my papers are all well-organized. I'm looking forward to flying again, seeing cities from the sky, watching clouds dissipate over the wings of the plane. I'm looking forward to seeing where I'll live, to running errands when I get there, to being completely exhausted and loving every minute of it.

I'm also completely terrified. At least I'm admitting to myself that I feel like that. It helps more if you, the reader, imagines Jon Osterman's final moments in Watchmen. Trapped in a study chamber, a lab rat as it were, with forces much more powerful than he is. He's completely, 100% terrified. However, his narration over the scene, right before his disintegration, says "I feel fear for the last time." I'm hoping to have such a destructive/rebuilding experience once I leave, but in order to change you have to feel fear for what you're about to lose.

There's also this part of me that's looking forward to complete newness. The part that's inexplicably looking forward to getting lost in strange cities, eating entrees whose names I can't even pronounce, embarrassing myself without fear of repercussion. There is an adventurous side of myself, one that I've never really let shine before.

So what the hell. I really don't have any choice at this point but to go for it, but I do have a choice in how much I really commit to this. I'm thinking 150% might suffice.

---

In other news, I haven't seen my family much lately. There is always a Crisis Du Jour where my dad works, which can't really be helped. My brother is busy with marching band practice and senior-year-of-high-school drama, and when he's not on Facebook or out with his friends or at a music lesson or at young men's Bible study or at Scouts, he's doing homework or sleeping. Boy just doesn't quit.

My poor mother has been back and forth to the East Side (for reference, we live in the northwest corner of Columbus) every workday for the past three weeks taking care of my ailing grandparents. Every day it's something. My grandmother's doctor's appointment to check for platelet levels. My grandfather's doctor's appointment to help discover the state of his memory and if it can even be improved at all at this point. My grandmother's hospital observation. My grandmother's blood transfusion. And since they can't drive, it falls upon my mom to do everything. Today it's a brief doctor's appointment before they start going into finances, closing bank accounts and paid-off credit cards.

It's really not fair on my mom that she has to run two households at once, cook two sets of meals every day, put those miles on her car, but there is no one else we can turn to that can do these things for us. My mom can't just say 'no, I can't take my mother into the hospital.' Things just don't work like that. The worst part is, there's only one doctor's appointment so far next week... why couldn't 'next week' have been this week? I kind of needed her home for guidance and for a car so I could run last-minute errands...

Speaking of last-minute, I have about eleventythousand things I need to do before I can consider myself prepared for departure, so I guess that means putting in yet another movie (I've watched probably 20 movies in the last week and a half) and organizing my backpack. I'm going to what might be my last high school football game tonight, so there will probably be no update later. See you on the other side.

- Jen -