27 September 2009

Cleveland.

So I went up to Cleveland this weekend. Justin goes to school at Case Western Reserve University and since he is in session and I am not, I figured this weekend would be the perfect time to get together and celebrate our third anniversary (the actual date of which is not until October).

On the way up I was nearly busted by a cop for speeding, but he actually nabbed the person right in front of me. Talk about scary! The rest of the driving went without incident, except for the few times this afternoon that I shut my eyes for a liiiiiiiiiiiiitle too long and started drifting out of my lane. It's a boring drive except for the actual campus area in Cleveland, since it's basically one single freeway for two hours.

Friday was our movie day. I got to Cleveland by about 3:30, and Justin and I decided to exchange anniversary presents. I gave him a digital picture frame (great for keeping photos and memories close by!) and he gave me Adventureland on DVD, a strange-looking Care Bear-knockoff statuette thing (which is kind of adorable actually), and a gift certificate to a spa redeemable for a full-body massage. Definitely going to be using that this week, as I will probably be a bundle of nervous energy by this upcoming weekend.

We were able to get most of our meals on campus at the dining hall closest to his fraternity house. It's just so strange to visit campus friends and see how they eat and live and stuff like that. I don't even think about these kinds of things when I'm home. We caught a movie playing on campus (The Bourne Ultimatum, very good action flick), watched the beginning of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode (The Final Sacrifice [part 1 of 9], definitely worth watching), and were able to watch Adventureland before we called it a night.

Woke up in time on Saturday to catch brunch before the football games started up. We were able to watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog for a little bit and we played through a few levels of Halo 3 before the real games started up. It was really rainy in the entire Midwest, I think, because the Ohio State game looked miserable and it was coming down hard outside while we were watching. We weren't able to finish that game, though, because we had dinner reservations at this really great place.

Yeah. Everyone, next time you're in Cleveland, check out L'Albatros. It's actually kind of in the middle of Case's campus, but I've never really eaten at a better restaurant. Seriously, check out their website, because they have pictures of their interior and of some of the dishes on their menu.

Just to start off with, their service was excellent. Bartenders coming in and out with unspoken refills for drinks, water out of a glass bottle, very knowledgeable and courteous waitstaff. One guy even took Justin's umbrella as we were entering, no questions asked. They serve slices of French loaf while you wait, with olive oil, coarse salt, and some kind of seeds-in-oil mixture to spread on it. I want to know what was in that mixture, because it was tangy and absolutely delicious on the bread.

As our appetizer, we ordered their goat cheese tart with sun-dried tomatoes and olives. It was really a small slice of this cheese mixture on top of a really flaky crust, served with a tomato pesto on the side and covered with just a few slim salad greens. It was delicious; the cheese was so flavorful, and so were the sun-dried tomatoes, plus the saltiness of the olives and the texture of the crust made it excellent.

Justin got the simple mixed-greens salad, but somehow this place was able to take a simple salad and make it something extraordinary. Some of their greens came fresh-picked from their back garden. Every one of the varieties had some different flavor to it, and the best part was, instead of covering it up with some sort of heavy and over-marinated vinaigrette, they just tossed it with a little light something. Very good.

For our entrees, Justin ordered the almond-crusted trout while I ordered the seared sea scallops. Everything was delicious. Justin couldn't stop praising the taste of his fish. His two filets of trout came covered with haricots verts, and the presentation looked wonderful. For my part, the scallops were seared perfectly. They cut very well and melted in my mouth, almost tasting like a finer version of lobster. The sear was perfect, with a slight peppery taste. The three scallops were served over egg noodles and some sort of green in a very rich white cream sauce. I later realized the greens were brussels sprouts; they were just so well-prepared that I didn't want to give them any credit!

By the time the dessert menu came around, the restaurant was emptying fast. As it turns out the symphony was playing Beethoven's Ninth that night. Oh well. We'll catch the symphony next time I'm in town, I'm sure. But that meant the restaurant quieted down a little, so we were able to enjoy our dessert in a little more peace once the worried symphony-goers had departed. We ordered their chocolate napoleon, which was this elegant stack of wafers sandwiching dollops of chocolate mousse and raspberries, garnished with tart raspberry sauce. Absolutely delicious.

Too bad they didn't serve hot chocolate on their dessert menu, only coffee, tea, and cappuccinos, or we would have lingered over 'drinks.' As it was, we were missing the ND game (which I had completely forgotten about, the food was so good, and that's saying something from an Irish student), so we quickly hit up the nearest Starbucks and went back to the house to change and watch the games.

I say 'games' because in their common room, they had two TVs, so we were actually able to dual-screen the Penn State and ND games both at the same time. They were both interesting games, but we got interrupted in the middle of the third quarter by the announcement that some of the guys were going to be watching Fight Club. I couldn't pass that up, so all of a sudden I'm in a very small room with one futon and one desk chair, eight people in this room, watching the movie. What a guy thing to do on a Saturday night.

After the movie was finished, we (I use the term liberally; it was really one of Justin's friends who extended the invitation to both of us) were invited to another fraternity's house for a 'challenge.' Turns out they were testing new beer pong rules. It was kind of entertaining, watching my first game of beer pong (didn't participate). After hanging out with a room full of guys for a while, Justin decided that while we were on that part of campus, we should visit some of his old friends that lived in his dorm last year. It was actually kind of interesting seeing those old faces again.

It's easy, re-reading that, to see how college nights get to be so late. I don't think that I've ever gone to sleep before 1:30 on a 'real' college weekend before, and this weekend was no exception.

This morning we were awake in time to catch brunch. The original plan was for me to leave after I ate, but it was such a nice day out after it had rained all day Saturday that I wanted to take a walk around campus. The air was breezy yet crisp. The leaves aren't quite changing color here, which actually made things seem more summer-like and less like autumn. Justin took me to a park just on the edge of campus where there was a man-made 'lake' (really a pond) sunk into a little dip in the hills, with lots of trees, Greek-like sculptures, and fountains. (And most people say Cleveland has no redeeming qualities!) Turns out that the park actually faced the Cleveland Museum of Art. Too bad it was a Sunday or we would have had a blast.

We ended up back in an area of campus I was more familiar with from my previous visits: the library and humanities quad. In the quad there was a structural fountain, basically a stack of rectangles with shallow water flowing down two sides of the sculpture. We took our shoes off and splashed around in the cool water for a while, just acting like little kids. But the general tour ended after that.

And I think it took two (maybe three) hours to say goodbye. It always hurts. This time it just hurts really, really badly, because I don't know for sure when I'll see him again. Three months from now is a good guess. It'll be the longest time we haven't seen each other, and we'll also be the furthest away (actual time zones and countries!). Don't get me wrong, I'm sure we'll be fine, it's just not going to be the most fun thing we've ever done. (Truth be told, I still feel like crying.)

... And that was my last weekend of the 'summer,' my last weekend completely within the United States for a long time. This upcoming week is going to be difficult, what with the stress of caring for my grandparents, the last-minute errands I'm going to have to run, the packing lists that will need to be made and re-made, the list of errands that need run once I actually get to school...

It's all a little overwhelming. All of it. So I think I'll take a break for now and come back to my blog around Friday night. The screen's a little blurry right now anyways.

- Jen -

23 September 2009

Last day of work.

Yeah. Today was my last day of work this summer. It feels weird to say this, but I'm leaving in ten days. I still feel like it hasn't sunk in yet, and if I think about it too much I get a little queasy. My big joke now is 'hey, don't remind me.' It just kinda feels like I dropped out. Or dropped off the face of the earth. Or something like that.

Although I am getting ready for stuff, a little. The past few 'trial runs' of my weekend suitcase have gone really well (several outfits, minus extra shoes). I got a flu shot tonight and now my arm is kind of stiff. I'm watching all of my Friends DVDs. I'm buying the last of my new clothes. ... so I'm not doing anything to get ready. I'm in huge denial. Can you blame me?

My grandfather's open-heart surgery was originally supposed to be on Tuesday. It didn't happen, because I worked yesterday. Then it was supposed to be rescheduled for Friday. Then, as it turns out, his diabetes is back, the surgery would have caused depression, and he's having problems with his memory. Decisions are still being made, but probably won't get decided until after I leave.

Cleveland this weekend :)

- Jen -

21 September 2009

Happy birthday to me?

I am twenty today, so here are twenty things about me. Some of them you might know, some of them you might not, but hopefully you learn something and you laugh a little too.

1. I believe success is the best revenge, and so far in my life I’ve been proved right. It lets you put effort that you could have put into hating other people into yourself and into making yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to be.

2. One of the first major purchases I intend to make is a treadmill. This sounds really stupid until you think about the fact that it’s an investment into a healthy lifestyle. Even if I just walk on it for fifteen minutes a day, I will hopefully avoid becoming one of those desk vegetables.

3. I don’t want kids. I’d rather spend every $200,000 (that’s 200 grand) that I would save from NOT having a kid and spend it on Mediterranean cruises. That’s almost half a million dollars if I were to substitute for the two kids I will never have.

4. I’ve written two novels so far. Neither of them will see the light of day (or publishing).

5. There are a few things that will always remind me of college. Some of these things include Starbucks, Domino’s pizza, the Blind Melon song “No Rain,” the Journey song “Don’t Stop Believin’”, and the Neil Diamond song “Sweet Caroline.”

6. I love to bake, but I hate to cook. My favorite things to bake are cupcakes and brownies. One of these days, I will learn how to boil pasta and my culinary skills will be complete.

7. I own an acoustic guitar, but I’ve never really learned how to play it. Currently, my brother needs to replace two of its strings.

8. I have preferred study music. For philosophy, it’s the Dark Knight soundtrack. For writing English papers, it’s Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.”

9. I don’t really understand the current pop-culture fascination with vampires. We get it – it’s a gigantic allegory for the allures of sex. Now get over yourselves (and the strange tingling in your panties when you watched the meadow scene in Twilight).

10. I used to want John Williams’/Hans Zimmer’s/Danny Elfman’s job, but as creative as I am, I’ve never really been able to write my own music.

11. This is my favorite number.

12. While I’m still in college, I would like to, at some point, a) take a ride on a Ninja/other crothrockity type motorcycle, b) shoot a shotgun, c) shoot a bolt-action rifle, d) shoot a revolver, and e) skydive. As far as I know, (e) is happening while I’m abroad, at an indoor facility.

13. I know I’m not unique. None of us are. But it’s different than the “Fight Club” no one is a beautiful snowflake picture. Because I know, even though I share elements with other people, mine are mixed in a totally different way. Sure, I may be the culmination of everything that’s ever happened to me, and sure, most things that happen to other people happen to me, but it’s the way they happened that makes me special. Not unique, but different enough.

14. I haven’t played piano (read: practiced every day for an hour and a half) for so long that I thought I had forgotten how to read music. I now know that is a lie, but it’s still a lot more difficult for me than it used to be, and my fingers get tongue-tied. (I also know that most of you reading this blog have not heard me play. I might like to show off for you sometime in the future, if I can find my Debussy “Deux Arabesques #1” sheet music.)

15. For the first time in my life, I have decent-looking fingernails, skin, and hair. I’m finally growing into physical self-confidence and it feels great.

16. I don’t think I’ve ever had a year straight in my life where my handwriting hasn’t changed. And most people I know haven’t seen my real handwriting. I think it’s a shame that we don’t read each other’s handwriting any longer, in this day and age. I’d much rather garner information about your personality from your scrawl than from your favorite font, although I am somewhat of a font nerd.

17. College, to me, seems to be one of the few socially acceptable means of running away that I’ve ever seen. You choose to run away for four years to this place that you hope will shape you into the human being you’ve always wanted to be, hoping at the same time to meet people who want to undergo the same process of transformation in the same way as you do. I know that for me and at least a few of my friends, college has figuratively meant ‘running away’ from personal problems and hoping that somehow, the presence of a university and other like-minded people will help us overcome the people we don’t want to be.

18. Whenever I see ambulances or fire trucks, I try to cross myself, and I at least say a quick prayer. I just think it’s respectful to do that, even though I’m not particularly religious.

19. Yes, it is entirely possible to watch an entire season of Friends in one day. I’ve done it before.

20. I always love my birthday. This may be since I’m younger than most people in my school year and so do not face the same sort of “holy crap I’m old” feeling that they do every year. I kind of make the date into a huge deal. So far in my life, I’ve never had the kind of serendipitous birthday that I’ve always wanted, a day where I can kind of have the best day ever. I had a two-months late sweet-sixteen surprise party and I met Justin on my seventeenth birthday, but so far none of my birthdays have really blown me out of the water in the kinds of ways I’d want. Plus, I don’t get the right to complain about feeling old, because ‘you’re younger than everyone else’. I think this might make me an incredibly selfish person.

So, there you have it.

- Jen -

20 September 2009

The first of a few birthday meals this year.

Today I had what was probably one of my worst days at work. Thankfully, at least by now I know that a) I can keep my sense of humor, and b) it was my second-to-last day of 2009 today. I'm just so, so glad that homecomings for high school started this weekend. See, I've been working in the dresses department, and I can't tell you how many $150 dresses I've picked up from floors of fitting rooms, completely discarded, all frumpled, not even on hangers. I can't tell you how many $150 dresses I've had to chargeback to the company because of girls creating defects (like broken zippers, broken straps, busted seams, makeup stains... I've seen pretty much everything at this point). We've been having customers come in and steal/ransack each other's held merchandise just because they can't wait and have to have THIS DRESS RIGHT NOW.

I put a call in to another local store for a customer and was put on hold for 25 minutes while the associates from that store were 'locating' the one piece of merchandise I had requested. I assumed they had forgotten, hung up, and called back, only to receive a snooty "yes, we know" from the other end. Three hours later, the customer came back, and the associates at the other store STILL hadn't been able to take 45 seconds out of their schedule to find a dress. And to set the record straight, it was a mother-of-the-bride dress, not a homecoming dress, so I still can't figure out what the problem was. We also had terrible customers today, just really rude people.

But enough about my terrible day at work; I got to go out to dinner tonight for my birthday! I wore my favorite dress (zebra print!) and tights and my silky black trenchcoat and felt very British walking in the rain with my umbrella. I asked for my immediate family and my dad's parents to take me to dinner at Bon Vie, and that's just what we did.

It was delicious. The service was wonderful, on top of everything. The French loaf to gnaw on came to the table warm and crisp, but fluffy on the inside. We ordered the flatbread appetizer, which is actually a very, very crispy thin-crust pizza with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes and basil. Absolutely delicious and more Italian than Italy. For my entree, I ordered a four-ounce filet mignon and a crab cake... which way exceeded expectations. The Yukon Gold potatoes that came with it were somehow sauteed until crispy and then baked the rest of the way, so they had the same outside texture and crunch as frittes (that's French fries to the rest of you). The haricots verts (French for 'green beans') were marinated and might have been grilled, or that might have been the steak juice that got all over them.

I ordered my steak medium for the first time in my life and absolutely was not disappointed; a four-ounce steak is probably all I could have handled anyways, so the portioning was perfect. Every single bite was heaven. Didn't exactly cut like butter, but melted like it in my mouth, and there was a slight crust on the bottom like it was seared. My crab cake had a lot of dill in it and was resting on top of a yellowish remoulade. I can't figure out what they made it with, but it was tangy and went with pretty much everything on my plate. (I also got a few bites of a fantastic chicken and mushroom crepe. Wow.)

Since it was my birthday, the waiter brought me a little bit of dessert: a warm nut-filled brownie with ice cream, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce, served in a martini glass. It was really cute and delicious to boot. I'm very full right now, and very happy. My grandparents have found another of their favorite restaurants (my grandfather's portion of fish and chips was so huge we could have probably fed a family of four with it.)

I got to leaf through pics of last weekend's shooting outing, I got to watch two videos of my brother (one of him trying to eat a gigantic gumball, one of his piano recital today), and now I'm rooting for the Giants against the Cowboys in Dallas' new football stadium. Just one more reason to move to Texas I suppose... It's been a good day, after all.

Perhaps my birthday won't suck this year.

- Jen -

PS. Transcription of a conversation with my mother.
me: Aw, Eli Manning. He's so dreamy...
Mom: You do know that you're lusting for a married man, right?
me: Yeah, and I want to have Neil Patrick Harris' babies, too, and we all know that's never going to happen. [NPH is gay.]
Mom: This is why you should have three boys.
me: But you know I don't want kids!
Mom: But then you can call them Neil, and Patrick, and Harrison!
me: *facepalm*

18 September 2009

Google Maps is made of fail.

Today my mom and I went on a little adventure. The original intent was to go apple picking, but even though we've been to this farm at least once a year since we've lived in Ohio, we got lost on the way there. Why? FREAKIN' GOOGLE MAPS. This is the second time in a week that I've been sidetracked or greatly delayed by their silly directions. Thankfully I now know what kinds of general directions to head in, so I got us to the farm in time... except the breed of apples we wanted to pick, Honeycrisp, had already been picked last week, all of them within a day. So instead of actually picking any Jonathans for ourselves, we just headed down to the farmer's market to pick up a bushel of Honeycrisps and some cider.

I was so tired when I got home that I fell asleep for two more hours, trying very, very hard to remember whose face was in the dream I had last night (and why I woke up with a gigantic smile on my face and the feeling I had in early October 2006).

Today was also one of my last days of work. Work was made of fail, too, because we had a customer come in the store ten minutes after it closed and who still wanted service/to be rung out at a register. As a rule, we're not really allowed to turn anyone away, and we don't close our registers until all customers are out of the store, but still.

I figured out what I'm going to name my cats! The first one will be called K. C., which is actually short for Kitty Cat (lord knows I'll just be randomly shouting "KITTY!" at enough opportunities, might as well just call the cat Kitty). The next one will be called Pyro and the third (if I ever get more than two) will be called Gangle, because that's just too good of a name to pass up (sorry Greg, except not sorry!).

I'm trying very, very hard to ignore the fact that I have to leave two weeks from tomorrow and will not see my friends at school again for another year, so please don't remind me.

- Jen -

17 September 2009

This one's for you, Greg.

I'm going apple picking tomorrow for the first time in years. I'm really excited. I miss the feeling of climbing the trees, actually eating apples that you yourself just freshly picked off a tree, the smell of ripe apples, the crisp feeling of the early morning air. Too bad I work tomorrow evening so I can't just stay out picking apples all day.

Barnes & Noble will eventually be the financial ruin of me. I went tonight and came home with the five-hour BBC version of Pride & Prejudice (a must-see, in my opinion, though I like both versions pretty equally), the third season of Friends on DVD (what? I need something to watch while I work on Projects), Naked by David Sedaris, and Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. I think I may have read Naked before, and I've read Sirens of Titan and heard that Cat's Cradle, along with Slaughterhouse Five, were very good, but I could only pick one. Now I just need to make it to the library to check out Pride and Prejudice and Zombies...

Also, this may be a terrible reflection on me, but I cry every. single. time. I listen to Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek."

- Jen -

Even shorter post.

I have run out of Friends seasons to watch. That's not saying a whole lot, since I only have 1 and 2, but still, I thought I had more movies to watch than just that.

My mom is going completely nuts. Today, my grandparents called her and casually mentioned that they have doctors' appointments this afternoon. The bad thing is, neither of them can drive (one physically can't, the other can't by doctor's orders). So, the peaceful and work-on-her-own-house day my mom had planned went completely out of the window and so did my hopes of making it to the library this afternoon, because she's the only one available who can drive them right now.

Really, this wouldn't be so bad if my aunt weren't teaching right now. If it were still summer, my aunt would be able to help with everything and at least take her fair share of the work. I understand that she has to teach, but I thought she might want to take the day off on Tuesday to just be with my mom while she waits for my grandfather in surgery. But oh, no. (I don't know about any of you, but I think I would feel justified in taking the day off of work to support my dad during his open-heart triple-bypass surgery.)

And I'm at least twenty pages behind on my Secret Project, which kind of has to be finished by January and I kind of can't take it with me abroad, so most if not all of it kind of has to be finished by October 2. At least I finally have the pages organized, so really I should be able to put it all together in time, but... as any reader can see, Sometimes Things Just Come Up and I can't always work on it the way I think.

I will be calm from here on out, just thinking of this video (and the follow-up video) and daydreaming about the cat Justin said I could get once we have our own place. (What's a good name for a cat?)

- Jen -

16 September 2009

Short post.

Not intentionally for someone (cough) to get even more behind, but I know everyone's usually busy during the week. Catch up on the weekend.

When I woke up from my dream this morning, all I could remember was that armageddon had been happening, all the opposites (which looked like Gundam fighters with allegories like "WAR" and "PEACE" and "LOVE" and "HATRED" spray-painted on) destroyed one another, and I was picking out long splinters of glass from my fingers with a pair of tweezers. And Greg was in my dream. Weird. And I haven't watched anything Gundam related since I was in middle school.

Every intention I ever had of just having a two-hour visit with my grandparents always, always turns into five hours and counting. They're just a little bit more labor-intensive than they used to be. I was introduced to the place where I will be taking my grandmother to her chemotherapy next Tuesday (really nice place, open, nice people, etc.). Sat around visiting for a while, including repeating stories twice and three times for my grandfather, which is kind of upsetting. Took my grandmother grocery shopping, then spent an hour rooting through her freezer and refrigerator trying to throw out food that they had stored improperly or had passed its expiration date. At least my grandmother got her lift chair today, and she might be getting a power chair soon.

It's just sad. Five years ago, my grandparents were truly healthy and happy people. Now they just look... kind of lost. I can understand why my mom gets so frustrated when she has to go out every day and help them with basics, but really, they can't take care of themselves. At this point, I'm just scared that something terrible is going to happen while I'm abroad, and this fear seems to be getting more and more justified as time goes on.

Took a nap this afternoon, which was more like falling back into the strange waking nightmare I had last night. The glass splinters came out of my hand completely clear, but they hurt like razor blades under my skin. Very strange, very realistic sensation. I haven't had dreams this vivid since March.

I have many, many pictures to sort through tonight, hopefully after I run a few errands this evening. See you in another life, brothers.

- Jen -

15 September 2009

Assorted breaking news.

And some of this post even includes Oxfordish things!

Yesterday was a hectic day for my family. My mother was with her parents all day, and we learned that my grandfather needs to have triple-bypass open-heart surgery as soon as possible if not sooner. They scheduled the surgery for next Tuesday, one of the same days when my grandmother needs to be getting her chemotherapy. Unfortunately, they won't be going to the same place (my grandmother is at a treatment center and my grandfather will be going to the hospital) so we need to figure out who will be driving everyone. My mom wants her sister, my aunt, to take a day off of work and take 'her turn', which I think is fair. My mom is seriously frazzled at this point and needs all the help she can get.

My birthday this year has turned out to be incredibly anticlimactic. I had a birthday with Justin before he left, but I felt so much like crap that day that I was too much of a mess to really enjoy it properly. This past weekend, I was expecting at least a little birthday fun for yours truly, but still genuinely had a good time celebrating Marita and Greg's accomplishments. As it turns out, we can't have our 'normal' family get-together for my birthday this year ('normal' in quotes meaning that my extended family of six people comes up for dinner and dessert). Really, all I want is to go out to a nice dinner, preferably at Bon Vie (really nice mid-priced French cuisine at a nearby shopping center) with my dad's dad and his wife, but it would have been nice to have at least a little hoopla. However, I need to remember that my birthday is still a few days away and maybe people were planning something for me. I need to learn patience...

Oh well. At this point I'm looking forward to 2010, when my friends apparently plan to spoil me rotten. Such is the fate of being the last of my friends to turn 21 (I'm definitely the 'baby'/'fetus' of the group). Not so bad, really, even though it will be a Tuesday.

This is only half-way related, but I gave myself a happy-early-birthday present last night by getting my hair permed. Once I script something out, I'm going to make a weblog about it. My goal for the rest of the day is to figure out what molecules were actually going into my hair and how they work like they do. Cosmetology is secretly chemistry, y'all. Also, more volumized hair makes

And, for the Oxford note, I think I've finally found a phone option that will work the way I want it to! I found it through telestial.com, and it's a cell phone that apparently comes with dual SIM cards and the phone price's worth of airtime already on it. Calls and texts to the US are relatively cheap. The best feature is, since I have two SIM cards, I actually get both a US and a UK number on the same phone! I don't even care that it's not 'cool looking' and that I could possibly pocket-dial people, it's neat that I'll still have a US number.

I took the day off yesterday (and by 'day off' I mean 'laid in bed feeling sorry for myself and watching Friends'), which means that today is the day that the suitcase gets unpacked, the Secret Project is resumed, and the phone is being ordered. So much to do in so little time!

- Jen -

ETA: That phone thing turned out to be a complete lie, as I found one from TMobile that is actually much better looking and a little less expensive for many more features, minutes, texts, etc. This whole communication thing is turning out to be a thorn in my side.

14 September 2009

ND Weekend, part 3: Sunday, September 13, 2009

Woke up in time to make it to brunch again (chocolate chip muffins!) and ran into Rachel on the way out. Which turned out to be a good thing, since I had missed giving her her extremely belated birthday presents (cupcake-themed) from her birthday back in mid-May. And I finally got my shirt back that I had loaned her so long ago!

I got gas before I left campus and left around 12:15 PM. I arrived home at 4:15. I made much better time on the way back than I did on the way there, probably because there were fewer truckers on the road and I felt freer to speed. Not necessarily a good thing. And I only came home with eight cupcakes by the end of the weekend, which wasn’t so bad, considering.

I got a text from AJ when I stopped at McDonald’s – apparently he was shooting shotguns at pigeons and felt the need to brag to me. When I shot back (pun!) about what I did, he was, to put it mildly, very impressed, so I promised to blog about it. (I hope you’re happy – there are three entries!)

Had dinner with my family, had enough time to read through a magazine, and then my dad invited me out to see District 9. What a powerful movie. I’m not intent on spoiling it for anyone, but I’ll leave it at this: highly allegorical (which I enjoyed), very powerful messages, and an all-around great film, though I may be too drained right now to appreciate it fully. If you want to discuss it, comment and I can email you or something.

There are very cute British PhD’s on my Science channel show right now. Where can I get one?!? (Duh, I’m just kidding, but I’m reminded of the sidekick in 27 Dresses.)

As I was trying to post these entries onto Blogger, I realized that it won’t take the formatting straight out of Microsoft Office 2007; you actually have to put it through Notepad first. That’s slightly annoying, but not completely out of the question. I’m writing these over a couple of hours anyways.

I am ridiculously tired and I haven’t even eaten one of my own cupcakes yet, so I think now is the perfect time to set aside the laptop and actually get a little sleep, since I didn’t get any this weekend.

- Jen -

13 September 2009

ND Weekend, part 2: Saturday, September 12, 2009

Woke up in time to make it to brunch and take a shower before I drove my car to Main Circle. At 1 PM, I met up with Greg, which was awesome. It was his 21st birthday, and he had decided to take us out to Midwest Gun and Range to rent some guns, buy some ammo, and go shooting, his treat. So, we both wore our ‘matching’ Tex/Church Red vs. Blue shirts (I think this only makes sense to the two of us) and waited for everyone else. Greg’s going to have to remind me of names later, but I know Bohnert (his roommate) and Ashley were also in the car with us on the way there.

And we got lost. Horrendously lost. I have developed an intense dislike for how South Bend does its signage, because we spent about ten minutes trying to figure out what name one street had. At least everyone else in the car had Google Maps, cached info on their iPod Touches, and an intrinsic knowledge of what direction is north (since we mostly had to go east-west). We also hit detours, maneuvered through strip mall parking lots, and generally got discombobulated before we finally got our bearings. (We did have a sing-along to a song from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, “My Eyes”, so that at least was good.)

We were waiting on two girls to get there from Michigan, and during the entire trip Greg was worrying that they wouldn’t have the address or that we’d have to wait on them. As it turned out, even though we had a head start on them, they arrived about 45 seconds after I put my car in park.

I was okay about the whole unfamiliar situation until we got inside. Then, my brain started freaking out. Holy bleep, I’m about to shoot a bleeping gun. I tried not to look like I was swallowing my tongue as we tried to pick out a beginner’s pistol. We had to hand over our IDs to go through a brief background check (apparently you can’t shoot if you’ve had felony convictions or something, not like any of us were worried). You have to have protective gear, too, just basic earplugs and eye protection, although apparently prescription glasses are enough.

So finally we had picked out a Sig Sauer 226 9mm pistol for the ‘girls’ (all four of us hadn’t shot before, and Greg said that 9mm had the least kick), and Greg had spotted a G36 rifle for himself as his ‘birthday present’ – but apparently this was no ordinary rifle. It was fully automatic. Apparently the full-auto really isn't commercially available. (As a sidenote, whatever the guy next to us was shooting had huge casings and was also ridiculously loud. We never figured out what it was, though.)

I waited for a while to watch how everyone else was handling things before I stepped up. I did things in the ‘right’ order and tried shooting the pistol before the rifle, but we had to load our own clips, which was mildly annoying to say the least. At first we couldn’t load the clip correctly and we had to send the gun back to get cleaned, but then we figured it out. My fingers weren’t quite strong enough, and I think Greg was laughing at me on the inside for fumbling around while I loaded the clip. And I never did figure out the sight on the pistol, so my target looked abysmal, but… hey, I actually shot a gun for the first time.

Then I got to shoot the rifle. Whoo boy. It really should not have been as fun as it was. Just holding it was a pretty powerful feeling. The scope was really intuitive, and my shots got progressively further center the longer I was shooting at semi-auto. Then I flipped the switch down and went to town. The way the full-auto works with the G36 is, you just hold down the trigger for however many rounds you want to come out. I wanted to do all threes but I messed up and got four in there somehow, and one of the casings fell out and kind of burned me on the arm, but these things happen. Shooting that, especially seeing how accurate I was able to get, made me feel… kind of powerful. Not that I would like to have that feeling all the time, but I felt completely capable for once that day (rather than feeling terrified).

Moral of the story, for me anyways, was: If you feel absolutely terrified going into it, there’s a good chance that if you try it, you might learn something as you go and you might even like it by the end. So, while I’m abroad, it’s not going to matter how much something scares me. If it’s within the limits of common sense and I have a few people to watch my back, of course I’ll go for it. Second moral: No matter how old guys get, for their birthday they really just want to play with some interesting toys. Not that guns are toys, but Greg was having a lot of fun.

On the ride back, we took the toll road instead of the back roads and had a sing-along to Blind Melon’s “No Rain,” which was funny. It’s stuck in my head right now, actually. Now that song will forever remind me of weekend road trips at ND, which isn’t such a bad thing really. And Greg got to open his birthday present from me: the XKCD Linux cheat sheet shirt. I'm the best best friend there ever was.

We got back on campus just in time to catch the second half of the Notre Dame-Michigan football game. I’m not going to dwell on it except to mention that the officiating was worse than terrible. The thing is, the only thing that could possibly be done about it is an inquiry and a fine for the Big Ten to pay. But if it’s the Big Ten paying the fine, then that’s going to make Ohio State look bad even though it’s the Michigan game where the officiating went wrong in the first place! Ooh, it just makes me so mad. And then we almost didn’t make it to the dining halls before they closed for the night.

I called Rachel during dinner to see what the plans for last night were. I almost made it to an off-campus party but decided against it at the last minute, so surprisingly and against my best intentions, the weekend was actually completely alcohol-free. As it was, I wanted to hang out with Greg for a while longer. He took a few happy-birthday calls from his family and we chatted in the lobby of the Knights of Columbus building about guns for a while. Greg's brother was able to figure out that, with licensing, a G36 full-auto would probably cost around $21,000 to own. No wonder the dude from the range insisted on being with the gun at all times - it was really expensive!

I managed to pick up my targets from his room and meet up with some of Greg’s friends in the student union. Between all of us, we decided that it was nice enough of a night to go star-gazing, so a few girls grabbed picnic blankets and we headed out to one of our rugby fields (less light pollution further away from the dorms, although visibility still wasn’t top-notch). Greg was our ‘guide’ since he’s worked at two planetariums (planetaria?). Eventually, though, the sprinklers turned on by us, so we scooped up the blankets and ran for our lives.

Greg and I ended up hanging out talking until midnight, when Rachel joined up with us. I met her boyfriend briefly and we chatted about the zombieclypse and video games based on ND before I finally noticed that, hey, parietals would be ending soon and so I needed to get back in time for Greg to swipe me back in. I hugged everyone goodbye, called Justin, and managed to fall asleep by around three (now there’s a more typical college weekend). And somehow, I still missed giving Rachel her very belated birthday presents and getting my shirt back from when I loaned it to her in April.

ND Weekend, part 1: Friday, September 11, 2009

Drove up to ND. Left my subdivision at 10:09 AM and arrived at ND at 2:39 PM. I think that pretty accurately shows that it takes four and a half hours to drive one way at a leisurely pace. I’ve been on the route so many times but had never driven the whole thing by myself… I think the best part was when I first got on the freeway and my iPod Shuffle was playing Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.” It was a sign of a good weekend to come.

There was only one problem with the whole drive: At one point, I’m just driving along, going a steady 8 miles over the speed limit, but I’m passing a line of truckers so I figure that’s okay. All of a sudden I look in my rear view mirror and there was a sheriff waiting right on my bumper. Of course I freaked out; everyone freaks out when the fuzz is practically rear-ending you. So I pull over as soon as I can… and the sheriff shoots right past me. As it turns out, there was an F-150 pulled over about a mile up the road and the sheriff was going up to help this guy out.

So of course I got to ND safely. I stayed with my old roommate from last year; she’s rooming with one of our close friends, and some other friends live right across the hall in Pasquerilla East. It was actually the room right next to our room from last year (I kept overshooting it all weekend—oops!). So, my three dozen cupcakes were safely in the room. We had a few hours to kill before we needed to go out to dinner, so we began to watch the extended director’s cut of Watchmen. Lauren was entranced by the number of scenes that were added and we didn’t even get to watch the whole thing.

It took us an hour to get ready for dinner. It’s understandable once you realize that it takes for. ever. to get my hair to do what I want it to do – ie. it actually took me forty minutes to make all my hair curly. More about that later. So anyways, once we were done getting ready, Allison drove us all to dinner. We were going out to celebrate a friend of ours, Marita, getting engaged a few weeks ago. As it turns out, Lauren had made our reservations at Tippecanoe, which is a restaurant located in the old Studebaker mansion in downtown South Bend.

It was a blast. As we were pulling in, Marita was convinced that we were taking her to dinner in a castle. We got our own semi-private table in the solarium, which had bay windows and the most amazing crown moldings; the paint on the walls was a truly exquisite shade of pink. Everything on the menu looked delicious, and between the four of us we tried the steak, a shrimp penne dish, tilapia, and the shrimp stirfry (mine). Their sweet whole grain bread came to the table warm and fluffy; their salad was spinach leaves, dried cranberries, walnuts, and small slices of apple in a honey mustard dressing; and our entrees were delicious.

I kind of have to take a time out and dedicate an entire paragraph to the harpist. We were thrilled to have live music during our dinner, and the restaurant was so quiet at first that we could hear everything. So, we heard excerpts from Coldplay’s “Clocks” and the theme to “Puff the Magic Dragon,” among other things. We tried hard to keep from giggling too loud (this was a high-class establishment after all), but we made sure to give her a tip for keeping us amused all throughout dinner.

The conversation was mostly focused around Marita and the fact that we all enjoy some really good friendships with one another. But then, eventually, as happens when the first of your friends becomes engaged, we realized: holy bleep, we’re getting old. We have to start thinking about grad school, law school, where we’re going for school, preparing for GREs and LSATs, and generally figuring out what we want to do with our lives. Sure, it’s nice to talk about weddings and bridal registries and celebrations, but… sometimes, you have to talk about the serious stuff.

But we didn’t let that get us down; we still have a year and a half with which to avoid the dreaded ‘real world’. Our conversation got derailed from becoming positively negative by the announcement that we could have a carriage ride complimentary on the house! Marita was thrilled with this; I think we all were. It allowed us to feel like pretty princesses. It also gave us a really great view of the entire Studebaker mansion and some of the surrounding area. We were able to get some pictures both inside the carriage and with the carriage in the background.

Once we got back to campus, it was kind of too warm for us to just sit around in our pretty clothes, and we were waiting on Allison’s friends Eric and Ryan to get back to us on plans for later in the night, so we changed and watched the first half of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Marita and her roommate hadn’t seen it before, and I think they were amused.

Eventually, around 10, Allison, Marita, and I headed to Eric and Ryan’s room in Keenan to watch a few episodes of 30 Rock. I thought it was pretty funny, but I liked Tina Fey to begin with. I think it would be better watching it weekly than watching it all at once. Eric also showed me the mock Cleveland tourism commercials, and I have to admit, even though Justin goes to school in Cleveland, I thought they were pretty funny. Hey, at least it’s not Detroit!

I finally got a chance to call Greg, who was the entire reason I picked this weekend to begin with. He was at Fiddler’s, a local pub, listening to an Irish band as he overnighted into his 21st birthday. It sounded like fun, but it would have been too late of a night for me anyways; I was exhausted from driving all day and turned in ‘early’ (which, on a college weekend, means 12:30 AM).

11 September 2009

Odds and ends.

Three dozen Rorschach cupcakes are now iced to perfection. The baking took me around three hours all told, the first icing took about 40 minutes plus 'setting time', and the final icing took about an hour. I hope they turned out as delicious as they look - I haven't even had a chance to eat one of the un-iced ones I left for my family!

Nails are freshly painted for tomorrow night's dinner. Camera battery is charging although I can't find the cord that links it to my computer. Nearly packed, too, using my new suitcases. I have more to bring with me than I thought I would have... I will take many, many pictures of this weekend, hopefully. My cupcake pictures are all on the memory card that I will be leaving at home.

Watched the Clemson - GA Tech game while I was painting my nails. Didn't see the end, but it looked like it was an interesting game all-around. Also, my knee had an unfortunate encounter with the coffee table; it's already turning purple. Ouch. I am such a klutz sometimes.

I'm so excited to see my friends tomorrow, and it's only two weeks until I get to see Justin again. I've been in such a good mood all day.

- Jen -

08 September 2009

In an attempt to ponder gopherdownunder's femininity posts.

I don't really consider myself to be much of a feminine person. This may be more of a cultural perception than anything, however, because I do not consider myself to be what cultural standards have deemed a girl should be.

Pink is not my favorite color; in fact, I rather hate pastels. I would rather talk about cel-shading than celebrities. I prefer watching football (Giants, Irish, Buckeyes, what have you) to Grey's Anatomy and in fact have never watched an episode of the aforementioned. (Side note: I impressed the dudes today at work when SportsCenter was playing in our athletic apparel section, and I turned away and said "I've already seen all those clips.") I don't consider make-up or cosmetics to be a prerequisite before leaving my place of residence. Any conversation I make with boys is genuine conversation, usually misinterpreted as an attempt at flirtation.

I have assembled, re-assembled, and de-assembled more home-made, non-modular lofts than any boy I know; I am unafraid of wrenches and hammers and in fact quite enjoy the physical labor involved in these college construction projects. I've changed a tire with two other girls (and, as they will also recall, the help that we got from a man totally messed up our smooth operations). I know more about cars than my boyfriend does (and I know I've been to more car shows than he's been to).

As my roommate will recall, I am completely unable to understand the way that 'girls' communicate with one another (anyone who has seen the Friends Season 1 "The One With George Stephanopoulos" episode knows that I will invariably quote "OH MY GOD I HAVE ELBOWS!" whenever girls start squealing to each other about something inconsequential). The way they shun one another over the least important things, the way they only remain in contact with one another in order to gossip about one another behind each other's backs. At least, that's been my concept of female friendship as presented to me by the media, Hollywood, and girls that live down the hall from me.

The girls that I'm friends with aren't traditionally girly either. I tend to develop deeper and faster friendships with guys anyways. For me, people who aren't overly feminine (or even masculine) are easier for me to relate to... people who are more like people than stereotypes, if you will.

Which brings up gopherdownunder's post from a few days ago, in which she related that buying dresses or overly feminine clothes make her feel guilty for being less of a person. Despite my long justifications above, I quite enjoy stereotypically feminine clothes like dresses, skirts, tight shirts, and skinny jeans. I've even recently developed a love for lipstick of the vampy red variety.

Do I feel guilty about my fashion choices and how they define my gender perception? I've never really thought about it before. As much as, mentally, I'm not very feminine and in fact pride myself on not taking part in gender stereotypes, physically I quite enjoy having a woman's figure. And I don't know if this is just from growing into an older woman's physique, or because I'm working in retail and get a great discount on my store's clothes and I'm changing out my wardrobe, but... I do really enjoy dressing like a woman and putting on makeup like a woman. I enjoy doing my hair (I even dyed it this summer and watch out for more changes!).

Does this make me any more gendered than people who are feminine in more stereotypical ways? I don't know. It's a question for the ages. Because no matter how I dress, how I do my makeup or hair, or what my body looks like, it's how I think that's distinctly more important to me. Yet the way I dress makes it seem like, at first appearance, I am ready and willing to fall into cultural stereotypes for how women should think and behave.

I refuse to fall into a gender stereotype with my actions and beliefs, yet my very first impression to people is that 'yes, I am willing to be what you think a girl/woman should be'. So, I'm right where gopherdownunder was at the end of her post. Do I stop wearing the dresses, skirts, etc that I love so much because they fall into a gender norm I don't want to perpetuate? It seems impossible that I could ever conform to the complicated and contradictory stereotype that is 'woman.'

So, where do I go from here? I don't know, but I'm still ogling a dress from work and I 'like'd my friend's Facebook status that commented on how mean and exclusive some girls can be with one another, commenting "girls suck," so I call a draw for now and I'll come back to this later.

In other news, I'm making four dozen Rorschach-themed cupcakes for my visit to ND this weekend. Another feminine thing that I enjoy doing just for its therapeutic and yummy benefits, something that I, again, feel slightly guilty (and girly) for until I actually eat a confection. And, again, that's another thing that I'm not very girly for. I own at least five superhero movies, and my roommate's birthday last year was a very merry superhero birthday. I really don't enjoy most romantic comedies, or most male-related comedies. And you know what? Whatever. I enjoy what I like, without restricting myself to whatever stereotypes say I should like.

So, enough pondering. I'm just a person. No more labels.

- Jen -

04 September 2009

You only WISH high school ended with graduation.

The truth is, the real world is still very much like high school. There are beautiful people that everyone gossips about, or maybe people that are very popular because their parents are rich. There are cliques and groups, some exclusive, some not. There are some people who 'fit in' or 'get it' and there are some people that just don't. And that's the end of where I'm going with that.

I went to my high school's first home football game tonight. We played a team from Ontario, Canada (oh how I wish I was making that up). Thankfully, we trounced them 56-13. Most interesting is that Brady Quinn (you know, ND football superstar, maybe-starting-QB for the Cleveland Browns), who graduated from my high school, was back tonight for our Alumni Night. I got to gaze at him first through binoculars, then from about 20 yards away. No way was security letting anyone unauthorized get to him. I did get pictures, though, because pics or it didn't happen, right? Not on my camera, but expect them in the next few days.

The unfortunate fact of a holiday weekend means that I work, since my job is in retail and people actually (gasp shock!) shop on holiday weekends. This is not true, however, for OSU home game weekends, so my shift tomorrow will probably be absolutely dead. I work every day until Thursday.

Let me know if there are definite plans in the air for when I come to ND.

- Jen -

02 September 2009

Sorry for two posts in one day.

It's just that there's one thing I forgot to mention in all this mess.

My grandmother has had non-Hodgkins lymphoma since I was a junior in high school. She's gone into brief periods of remission, so brief that I hesitate to call them 'remission.' Originally, it was discovered around (not inside) her brain; when it came back last year, there was an orange-sized mass in her spleen. My junior year, my grandmother was hospitalized for a sepsis infection (for my Catholic readers, that's the thing that supposedly killed JPII); she nearly died, but she's pulled through since then.

Usually, my grandmother goes through weeks of treatment (usually eight weeks of treatment, chemo twice a week). She's already lost her hair and wears a wig. She's always had trouble walking, but her back especially (and hips and knees) are now so bad that she rarely leaves the house. She's never had the best diet to begin with.

In the middle of August, we were notified that her lymphoma has returned, this time as a mass around and possibly inside her colon. The mass is around the size of a small cantaloupe (yes, it's bigger than a grapefruit, which is the largest fruit-termed measure I've ever heard used for a cancer mass). Originally, it was thought that she would need to be hospitalized for treatment, but after a long debate over a treatment from Europe that has now received FDA approval, it was decided that she could go through her 'normal' chemo treatments and not have to be hospitalized.

During the course of her treatment, she has been getting weaker and weaker, and my mother had told me that one of her legs looked drastically more swollen than the other. As it turns out, my grandmother has a blood clot in that leg, and she's been hospitalized after all.

I wish I could say that her husband, my grandfather, has been a reliable source of strength through these hard times, but it's not true. He's been gradually getting more 'forgetful' throughout the last several weeks. We can't figure out any possible causes, but he's lost his way to the hospital from their house (it's right down the street, but he took a wrong turn and became so lost he had to ask for directions) and also become disoriented on the way to the bank (even closer than the hospital), so disoriented that he had to return home (and couldn't find his way) to ask for directions. He's also had fainting spells. We really can't figure out what's causing it, but we have it narrowed down to mini-strokes, mild dementia/the beginning of Alzheimer's, and an overdose or wrong mix of the medications he's taking. Whatever the case, it's not going well.

These are both my mom's parents, and between caring for both of them she and my aunt, her sister, are becoming rather frazzled. It used to be that they would go out once a week and help their parents, my grandparents, to clean their house minimally, but it's become so bad that they've hired a lady to come in once a week and do basic cleaning. Now, with my aunt back at work (she teaches fifth grade and so works constantly during the school year), the brunt of caretaking falls on my mom. She's so worn out by it that she's been drinking more than usual (my mom drinks four times a year, one drink, usually, and lately she's been having a stiff one once a week), crying more than usual, and falling behind on things that need done at our own house.

Really, it's just a mess, and I don't know what to do. I can't go out and help because of the amount of work I have (I couldn't even go out to visit my grandmother at the hospital tonight because of the work I've had pile up on me). Everyone, please pray for my family and their continuing good health or their swift recovery.

tl;dr prayers plox?

- Jen -

Fast times at Ridgemont High.

Not really. Still going through a pretty quiet summer, like anyone else going to OSU. Oh wait...

This may seem very small to my female readers and nigh-inconsequential to my male readers, but I'm starting to wear lipstick. To me, that always meant that I was a 'grown-up', and so it used to be reserved for special occasions only. But I've realized, wearing it every day takes the emphasis away from the very bold statement of my glasses. So yeah. Watch out for me to 'drop the bombshell' (aka the Sangria) when you next see me in person.

My current ambition is to craft a playlist for my Shuffle so that I will truly never have to skip a song through a drive back and forth to ND. This is quite an ambition, because the drive for me is 4.5 hours one-way (overestimating on purpose), so I roughly need 9 hours' worth of songs that I will never want to skip over. I'm almost there, but still test-driving the playlist that I have right now. Version 1.0, what used to be on my Shuffle back in May, was good enough, but my Shuffle finally died and has been sitting in my purse unused since late July. Time for an upgrade. Version 2.0 is currently undergoing testing, and so far has been mostly successful. Version 2.1 is loaded in iTunes right now after this testing run is over, and currently has 142 songs ranging from Katy Perry and Lady Gaga to the Bee Gees and Liza Minelli. (What can I say, I have very eclectic taste in music.)

I introduced my mother to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog this afternoon, mostly with "yeah, it has Neil Patrick Harris in it". Even moms love the NPH. And when she saw Felicia Day she said "Oh, it's the girl from the old UPS commercials!" Right. I forgot how much I loved that little musical; "My Eyes" is one of my favorite duets of all time.

Still working on Secret Projects, still watching way too much of Watchmen, still on the hunt for a new travel-size perfume. My to-do list gets longer as my time shrinks. As Mr. Wonka might say, "So much time and so little to do." Wait... strike that, reverse it.

- Jen -